After a vague plot scene about terrorists trying to steal money from a
plane, getting shot down, miraculously surviving unharmed and then
radioing in an SOS in an attempt to kidnap your partner and get you to
pay the ransom by collecting their dropped money (I swear I am not
making this up), you get dropped into this screen. Now, it may
not look that terrible from the screenshot, but that's because you
hear the music. It's one thing to write good, quality music, but
writing bad music?
Well, that must have been what the game's entire budget went into,
because believe you me, they hired the best of the best in bad
Don't believe me? Listen for yourself.
Click Here to Listen
(79 kb MP3 file)
Now imagine that on an endless loop accompanying six long, tedious
stages full of drudgerous platform hopping. Pretty horrible,
One of your most dangerous obstacles... a
campfire. I'm just kidding, it doesn't hurt any worse than the
snow that falls on you every few steps
Ah, your first greatest obstacle, the giant spike pit.
Apparently you're supposed to grab that rope and shimmy across, but
forget about ever doing so. Your character is too stupid to grab
onto the rope, much less hold onto it for any length of time.
There are a pair of gray boots nearby that allow you to make a running
jump over the pit from above. But for the sake of your sanity,
just pretend you didn't read that last sentence and give up here if you
somehow end up playing this game.
There's just more hell on the other side
Here we see your protagonist freezing to death. No, that's
not a euphemism for the "standing still too long" animation seen in
many games - you literally start to lose health and die if you stay in
one place for a minute or so.
Oh, by the way, there are also four boss fights, but they all consist
of the same strategy - get close and mash the Punch button until they
One-line synopsis: Games don't
come worse than this.