KILL ASS! version 0.2
Gonterman Archive

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Old Stuff

Keeping the madness alive since 2010!

Read this site first, as it's a great primer to the madness you're about to experience on this page.  Mirrored here in the unlikely chance the original should go down (it's managed to stay up for well over 10 years now, so I'm not too worried).

Recurring Themes

Although he insists that he's attempting new ideas and trying to move away from his image as the "Ed Wood of the Internet", his works still fall prey to the same faults time and time again.

  • Terrible grammar, typos and continuity errors from one paragraph or panel to the next
  • Very literal "sound effects", I.E. "AUTOMATIC MACHINE GUN FIRE!" and "IGNITEx2"
  • Self-insert Gary Stu with unlimied powers and resources whom all the protagonists instantly love and whom all the villains fear.
  • Furries, especially female ones
  • Comics seemingly made to steal the audience from whatever he currently feels betrayed its fanbase (i.e. him)
  • Censoring swear words after he chose to include them in the first place
  • Long buildup to a self-serving sex scene which, thankfully, always occurs off-panel/outside of the narrative
  • Gonterman's very weird, very specific fetishes for transgender characters, interspecies love, Roll, bunny girl suits, and Japanese schoolgirl uniforms.
  • The stereotyping.  Always with the stereotyping.  From wiccans who wear pointy hats and speak in cheesy Celtic accents to every gay man everywhere being straight from Queer Eye For the Straight Guy, everyone is a stereotype.
  • Stories rarely, if ever, get finished either due to him getting bored with the project or poor reception driving him to take it down.

Sorted (more or less) in chronological order.

The 'Davey Crockett' Trilogy

Without a doubt the most well-known and notorious of all of Gonterman's works.  An enormous crossover story starring Dave's self-insert, the Power Rangers, Sonic the Hedgehog, Sailor Moon and whatever other random franchises he felt like adding at any given moment.  Basically, Gonterman saves his town with the help of the Power Rangers, is blasted to shreds by a teacher who resents him, somehow awakens in Mobius, then returns to his own time to ally with the Sailor Scouts, and... yeah.  Suffice to say it's fucking nuts and makes very little sense.

This story was apparently sparked by a real-life event, wherein Dave's history teacher (a black woman) labeled him a racist for an essay he had penned on race relations.  This teacher is demonized thoughout the story, using the incident to push his belief that he's being "punished for the sins of his forefathers."  That in and of itself wouldn't be _too_ bad, but then he decided to tie in copious amounts of gay bashing, an incestual relationship, abortion as a plot device and even hints of white supremacy, all the while ignoring that Sailor Moon is a very pro-gay show and that almost all of the franchises featured within the story are Japanese in origin.  The story was never finished, as fan backlash and countless reader MSTings drove Gonterman to delete the entire saga from his site.

In short: It's very long, very tasteless, definitely not work safe, and reading it will most likely scar you for life.  You have been warned.


An offshoot of Blood and Metal wherein Dave's self-insert and Sonia (Sonic's sister?) discuss their relationship.  Dedicated to one "Emily Smith", who, from what I can gather, was an acquaintance of Gonterman's on AOL and created the Sonia character.  Gonterman's later writings and angry tirades against his detractors eventually drove her away, leaving this comment as a parting note.

Kissing Contest

Various Disney heroines engage in a kissing contest with Quasimodo as the judge.  The rest is mostly just Dave using the characters as a vehicle to stroke his own ego.

Firestorm: Ground Zero

A crossover between Rescue Rangers, the Secret of NIMH, Pinky and the Brain and god-knows-what-else.  If the last few paragraphs are any indication, this is a precursor to "The Rangers of NIMH".

The Rangers of NIMH

Another crossover story, this time attempting to link Gadget from the Rescue Rangers to the universe of the Secret of NIMH.   Continues to hype up Gonterman's mega-crossover "Firestorm", which to the best of my knowledge never got past more than a few stories (and the few that did exist got MSTed to high heaven).  Part 2, as far as I know, now only exists in MSTed form.

Storming the Castle

Another "Firestorm" story, starring Dave's self-insert as he mounts a rescue mission for Mickey, who has been kidnapped by one Michael Pitzel.  I don't know what he stands to gain by staging a kidnapping of a corporate icon, but not being David Gonterman, I have no idea what logic David Gonterman's mind operates on.

Night with Gonterman

Yet another utterly senseless crossover, this one combines Darkstalkers, Sailor Moon, the WWF and... the cast of Mystery Science Theater 3000 as commentators?  The central focus seems to be Dave taking out his aggression on someone named "Oscar" who, judging from the context, was one of his numerous MSTers.

Jasmine's Second Life

A tie-in to Planeswalker, introducing the, erm, "main characters" and ending before anything of real note happens.  Presumably it ties in to the first portion of the comic, but I can't be certain.

Mystic Mice

Gonterman pimps his two, erm, "next-gen Disney characters", Johnny Briz and Susan Traveler, who seem to be intended to steal the audience away from his latest target of ire, aka Disney.  Odd that he's now joined the Eisner-hating camp when "Storm the Castle" had him defending Eisner.

Sorted (more or less) in chronological order.


Among Gonterman's earliest works, FoxFire follows the aimless adventures of a kid named "Jim Goodlow" and a sentient fursuit whom he receives from persons unknown.  Contains thoroughly disturbing moments and some of the worst artwork you're likely to ever see.  Oh, and by the way: this goes on for over 200 strips.

Sonic: the Mobius Chronicles

A comic adaptation/continuation of Blood and Metal, containing more of Gonterman's famous angst about paying for the "sins of his forefathers" and trying to establish that Mobius is a future Earth where humanity has been largely wiped out by a mutated AIDS virus (yeah...).  The original files of this comic are largely lost; only a few scattered pages were saved by Commuter Barnacle.  The only other copy known to exist contains the complete comic, but has been edited with MST-style commentary by a site called "the Sisto Files". The site still exists, although plagued with broken links, but I managed to salvage the Gonterman comics via OoCities and the Way Back Machine.

Sailor Moon USA

More or less a comic adaptation of American Kitsune, thankfully canceled before it got to the really disgusting parts.  Once again, the only existing copy was edited via the Sisto Files.

Sally Protest

One of Gonterman's more infamous moments was his "Sally Protest" comic.  Outraged at the fact that Archie had apparently killed off Princess Sally in the Sonic the Hedgehog comic, Gonterman drew a comic wherein Sally goes on an angry tirade against the company and the comic industry as a whole (with the questionable exception of Image Comics) until eventually being reincarnated by Gonterman.  When Sally was eventually revealed to be alive and well in the Archie story, Gonterman apparently believed that he himself was responsible for having the story rewritten.  (In reality, the change was a mandate handed down by Sega of America well before the story even saw print.)

NiGHTS: The Third Dreamer

Made sometime in the twilight of his Sonic/Sailor Moon days, this is Gonterman's take on NiGHTS into Dreams, introducing the 'third Dreamer' (himself) into the story of the Archie comic book based on the game.  The story never really gets off the ground, though, as he only finished a single issue.  Among the rarest of all Gonterman comics on the 'net -  apparently it was pulled only days after it was originally posted.  This copy was salvaged from an old Fortunecity page that I don't think is around anymore;  It's a bit odd to think that I may very well have saved a Gonterman work from being lost forever.

Kitsune .44

More or less an original work, Kitsune .44 follows "Scott Trucker" as he is mysteriously transported to feudal Japan by a tornado and befriends a village under siege by the villain "Tommy Gun Geishu".  Oh, and there are furries there too.  Pretty tame as Gonterman works go, but still worth a chuckle.  Once again, only a single issue was produced before the project was canned.


Perhaps the most well-known of all of Gonterman's comics, NiTRO was created in response to the massive fan backlash created by the "Davey Crockett Trilogy".  Within, Dave's self-insert takes out his rage on MST3K's Pearl Forrester, Sonic the Hedgehog and Sailor Moon (rather than the fans of said franchises) before departing Earth entirely and being, err... "befriended" by a robot modeled after Roll, the housekeeper robot from the Mega Man series.  Needless to say, all he really managed to do with NiTRO was make an bigger fool of himself.

Night Soldiers

Another of Gonterman's odd attempts at telling an original story, starring "Richard Kronos", a crippled high school student, and "Lady Shazell" as they investigate supernatural killings.  As with many of Gonterman's works, it ended after a single issue and was removed from the 'net shortly thereafter.


Combining the format of Yu-Gi-Oh! with the universe of of Magic the Gathering and Gonterman's own bizarre fetishes.  The result is predictably disasterous.  At one point he pulled the first 30 or so pages from the Internet, leaving only the second half online before eventually removing it completely.


A very short story that seem to have little plot or purpose other than to serve as a lead-in to Livewire Latte.  And perhaps demonstrate that the well of Dave's madness runs infinitely deep.

Livewire Latte

More aimless non-adventures of Adam Packbell and his gynoid companion.  But that doesn't stop him from mixing in his usual insane quirks.

Scarlet PI

A "reimagining" of Foxfire that turns the fursuit characters into products of science (rather than aliens) and Jim Goodlow into a gay man who can't find work as a police officer.  Of course, it's not long before it quickly turns into a mess of fanservice, confused subplots, wildly fluctuating art quality, stolen material and the main plot being lost to Gonterman's weird fantasies and attempts to introduce new projects, indicating he's gotten bored of this one and is looking to abandon it.

Other Gonterman-related things.

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